Marriage is certainly not a step that should be taken lightly in life. But often times, people do marry for wrong reasons which sometimes lead to a bitter marriage or even divorce.
Below are some worst reasons to settle down:
1. You are afraid of losing your partner: It’s not ideal to marry because of fear of losing your partner. It’s better to opt out of a relationship when you’re unsure about his love for you.
2. Friends and family pressure: It’s normal to have family members or friends that will put pressure on you in order to settle down because they think it is time.
You need to realize that these people would not be in the marriage with you and they certainly would not directly feel the consequences of a broken marriage. Only take this step when you’re ready for it.
3. You are getting older: Yes, yes, the infamous biological clock is ticking away and reminding you that you are running out of time.
But, you should know that once you are in a bad marriage, you would be in a worse mess. In fact, you will conclude that it would be better if you had waited for the right person.
4. You have a feeling of owing your partner:Did he pay your way through school? Did she hang in there through your strip club days and your cheating ways? Getting married because you feel you owe your partner a debt is also a terrible idea.
Get married because you absolutely and completely want to do it. You would feel much more satisfied with your choice.
5. For material security: This does not just refers to women who settle down with rich men just because they do not want to worry about money.
These days, some men actually choose to go for women from rich homes/backgrounds, perhaps due to promises of wealth from the woman’s parents or the feeling that the woman can solve any money-related problems that come up.
Such marriage would not work out because your partner will surely disrespect you. This is because you married him/her because of wealth.
6. You are bored: You should also not get married simply because you have nothing else going on in your life. Do not just assume that marriage would provide you all the companionship you need simply because you are uncomfortable with your own company.
Focus on your personal growth, find a hobby, start a business, grow your career, and when the time is right, you will meet your true partner.
7. To get over an ex: Did you just hear that your ex has gotten married? Did you just go through a terrible break-up and you think jumping into a lifetime commitment will heal your broken heart?
Well, this is really wrong. When you do eventually get over the ex (and you will) all you would be left with is a partner you do not love and the feeling of total regret.
8. Pregnancy: Just because you are pregnant, or she is pregnant for you is not enough reason to enter into an eternal convenant.
This might sound like a good solution at first but in the marriage, you would notice your partner is simply a mother/father to the child and not a wife/husband to you since the child is the only foundation of your relationship.
9. You’ve been dating for a long time: So you have been together for years and tying the knots seems like the perfect solution. Sometimes, it isn’t.
When it is time to decide marriage, take another look at your relationship and consider how it will change if you make it official and bring children into it.
Be as honest as possible with yourself and your partner. Do not just start planning a wedding because you think that is the next step.
10. All your friends have married: As humans, we cannot help but compare ourselves to our mates as we progress. Sometimes we worry about making sure that we are at the same level in life with our friends who are already there. But marriage is a completely personal decision.
Just because everyone around you seem to be jumping in does not mean you should jump into it too. Take your time and make sure you are ready for the step before taking it.
11. Your families get along: You might have started dating someone because he/she is a family friend or because your families get along perfectly, but this is no reason to make vows to be loyal and faithful to him/her forever. Make sure you are doing it because you both feel ready, in love and connected with each other.
12. You think it is the next step: You just completed your education, or you just got that big promotion at work. It may be that you just bought your first house or you just hit a particular age. Whatever your reason, do not get married just because you think it is the next thing to do. Marriage should not be on some to-do list that you have.
Many people married without being prepared emotionally, mentally, spiritually, psychologically and materially and as a result, marriage vows are not kept and thereby resulted to a collapsed union.