We’ve been through this—men make up a rather nuanced somewhat shapeshifting species. Sometimes, you’re astonishingly frustrating; other times, you’re exceedingly endearing. (OK, fair, we all are.) But to make sure you’re more of the latter, we’ve clued you in on the times women find you painfully unsexy and totally sexy. And given that it’s not really fair to tell you those are the only times you’re considerably attractive, here are a few more moments women swoon.
1. When you win over our friends. As a woman, our girlfriends are our lifelines. We tell each other everything: the good, the bad, the downright ugly and the dirty. Because of that, we know each other inside and out—if our friends find you even at all charming, it’ll reinforce why we find you stupidly charming, too. Plus, knowing we can take you places is a major relief.
2. When you help out a buddy. When you and your friends have each other’s backs, it shows just how dependable you are, which reminds us why we rely on you, too. It shows that you’re a good person and are there for the people you love.
3. When you’re excited to teach us about something you love. Intelligence goes beyond books and business acumen. Half the fun of being in a relationship is learning from simply sharing each other’s lives. When you teach us something, whatever it is, we’re captivated by the challenge and turned on by your passion for it.
4. When you’re open-minded. It’s inevitable that people will have disagreements, but a man who keeps an open mind, respects differences, debates respectfully and values constructive criticism is mature. And maturity is certainly sexy.
5. When you show some emotional depth. We’ve said it before: Honest conversation that goes beyond the surface is critical, and most women are attracted to men who can open up. Doing so builds a level of trust that becomes a two-way street, and makes for a much deeper connection, which means a deeper attraction.
6. When you’re reading. Reading shows that you like to learn, can give your attention to something (and therefore perhaps someone), and can detach from the virtual world to instead think deeply on a subject matter. Simply, reading a lot makes you more interesting
7. When you can kick it with little dudes. Not all women want children—but it’s probably safe to assume that most women still find it attractive when a man is good around kids. All it means is that you’re patient, helpful and fun, and those are good qualities to have in a relationship, too.
8. When you kill it at something you love. You’re most attractive when you’re happy and feeling confident. So whether you play a sport or you’re in a band, watching you in your element, killing it, is nothing short of a good time for us, too.